I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
