Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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