This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
