is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
