The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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