come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
