yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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