The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
