I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
