Do you still have your period?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
