There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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