I wish I could punch you in the face.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize