My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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