You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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