wat bout pragnant strippers??
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
