Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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