i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
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