youre lurking in front of me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
there was a trapeze. enough said
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Is Oprah even human
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
