Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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