Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize