My room smells like vodka and shame
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I want a musical about memes.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize