Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
