i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
