I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
