I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She bit a glass in half.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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