She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
