i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
