maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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