He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
