Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
