I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
