Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
