Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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