If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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