Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
