it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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