I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
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i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
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If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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