the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
