I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
