Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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