Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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