His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize