): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
