If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
