I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
