How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
