I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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