And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
