i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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