Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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