Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
