I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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