apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
