let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
