Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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