i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Oh god it's open bar.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
