I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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