who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
This baby is an asshole
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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