Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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