If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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