Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
