My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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