But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
