In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
