She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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